my anaconda don’t want none
unless you DEFEAT THE HUNS, SON
my anaconda don’t want none
unless you DEFEAT THE HUNS, SON
Work in progress- evening 2.
44% of the audience of Guardians of the Galaxy is female and all the speculation states that women went to see it for Chris Pratt’s body. I don’t think that’s fair. Maybe (and this is crazy) they just like kickass movies with space shit and explosions. Maybe women can do things without men being their motivation. Maybe.
Like seriously, why isn’t pole dancing an olympic sport? This is freakin gymnastics. This is strength and skill. This is not sexual whatsoever. Why does pole dancing have to be so stigmatised as a sexual thing that only strippers do? I have great respect for all people who can pull this off. This is art and beauty right here.
HEY FUN FACT: pole dancing is known as something strippers do because strippers invented it. And that’s okay! It’s okay to have respect for strippers and the hard work they put into what they do! Let’s stop trying to take the stripper part out of pole dancing so upperclass white girls can do it without being ~stigmatized~ because god forbid women be sexual.
Strippers did not invent poledancing, but that’s okay, too! Pole dancing is an extremely old sport, early roots can be traced back to the Indian sport, mallakahamba (as early as 1100 AD). It also existed in China as a performing art prior to the 12th century.
Strippers dancing around poles, probably got its start in the late 19th century with “hoochie coochie” dances that would be performed in tents. “Little Egypt”, widely attributed as the first striptease pole dancer, was a striptease belly dancer who preformed what they dubbed “exotic dances” in burlesque shows held at the Chicago World’s Fair. Her dance became so popular, many other erotic dancers began to emulate her performance.
The fact pole dancing is so strongly associated with erotic dancing now is actually a bit incidental! The burlesque shows would be held in tents, and the tents just happened to be propped up by a pole in the center that the woman would dance around! Depression era burlesque shows, held in tents for cost-effectiveness, further solidified the connection between erotic dances, “exotic” dances, and pole dances.
*note, I don’t approve of the term ‘exotic dance’ to mean ‘bastardized versions of dances from other countries’, this is just the terminology that would have been used, and I think it’s worth noting that erotic dancing is still referred to as exotic dancing, despite the fact they do not share an overlap, and the term ‘exotic’ is, in and of itself, often used rather problematically!
This is even better.
A woman has converted a tiny cabin in the woods in to her dream Victorian home.
I am in love.
Prince Hans: The Mirror
In an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation called “The Perfect Mate,” a woman named Kamala is taken on board the U.S.S. Enterprise. She is a supremely talented empath who, in any condition, mirrors the emotions of the person with whom she interacts.
Thus, with the brilliant Captain Picard, she is intelligent and adventurous. With the animalistic Klingon, Worf, she is primal. With the womanizing Commander Ryker, she is provocative and flirtatious. And so forth.
That is the true nature of Prince Hans, in Frozen.
This explains why there has been so much confusion about his character. Because he isn’t a character at all — in the sense that there is, as far as the story shows, no essential self to Hans.
Rather, every scene in which Hans appears shows him interacting with someone, and in those scenes, he takes on the characteristics and emotions of the people with whom he interacts. He mirrors them, as if he were an empath, reflecting their feelings back at them. And more than that, he even embodies their projections, personifying their hopes or dreads.
In Hans’s first scene in the film, Anna has just been dreaming of a perfect prince, and there he appears, as if her will had conjured him out of thin air. He seems to be just like her, a little awkward, but sociable, and wholly receptive to meeting someone — as if, like Anna, he too had been dreaming of running into someone new.
She leaves the encounter a little dreamy-eyed and love-struck, and he ends the scene with the same look on his face, reflecting hers.
Then, at the coronation ball, Anna attempts to re-forge a relationship with Elsa, which of course, Elsa cannot do (for Anna’s safety). Thereafter, Anna immediately encounters Hans again, except this time, he mirrors Anna’s desire for a much deeper instant relationship, just as Anna improbably wished instantly to bond closely with Elsa (as if the last 13 years of separation had never existed). Hans now wants exactly what she wants, an open-door relationship with someone, and he seems even to have endured the same hardships as Anna has: being ignored by siblings. He mimics her movements in the clock scene. He echoes her exact words: “Can I say something crazy?” “Can I say something crazy?” In their love song, they sing the same words right back at each other, again and again.
When Elsa unleashes her magic, a fascinating moment follows in which Elsa and Hans exchange glances with one another. Elsa looks up, concerned, and Hans too looks up, with a similarly concerned look on his face. In that one moment, he reflects her emotions precisely.
When Anna resolves to set out after Elsa, Hans’s desire is to parallel her: “I’m coming with you.” But Anna leaves him behind, in her place. In effect, he is to function as her substitute, as her mirror self in Arendelle.
As the governor of Arendelle, when the people approach Hans with kindness, he reflects their kindness in return. But when the Duke approaches him with hostility and attempts to show him who’s boss, Hans mirrors the Duke’s bravura and stares him down, asserting his own authority in turn.
Even at the ice palace, when he confronts Marshmallow, he mirrors the great snow monster in the ferocity of his combat skills. Just as Marshmallow grows ice spikes, so too does Hans grow one — his sword – and defeats Elsa’s mighty snow sentinel by reflecting the snowman’s violence.
When he encounters Elsa in her upper chamber, he echoes Elsa’s very own lifelong dread when he says to her, “Don’t be the monster they fear you are.” In effect, he is speaking for her, uttering her own emotions, as if he were empathically linked to her.
Even his very next action is a mirroring one: when one of the guards raises his crossbow to shoot, Hans, in grasping the guard’s crossbow, shoots with him. The are two suddenly on the same trigger, mirroring each other, performing the same act, shooting the weapon together as if they were twins.
When Hans next encounters Elsa in the dungeon, his tone is identical to hers. He sits beside her and speaks with sadness and worry: “Stop the winter. Please,” saying the lines just the way Elsa might utter them herself. He seems, in that moment, to be as gentle as Elsa. He reflects her emotions and her demeanor.
Next, of course, comes the library scene. And now, one might think that Hans reveals his “true” self. But that’s not the case at all. Here too he performs an act of mirroring — of Anna.
Consider Anna’s words when she returns:
What happened out there?
Elsa struck me with her powers.
You said she’d never hurt you.
I was wrong…She froze my heart.
That is, of course, Anna’s selectively edited and misconstrued account of what happened. In truth, Elsa struck her with her magic unwittingly and unwillingly, after having begged Anna repeatedly to leave, for Anna’s own safety. It was Anna herself who caused the situation in which she was hurt.
However, because Anna (due to her characteristic lack of perceptiveness about others and their emotions) does not recognize why the ice-palace incident transpired as it did, she misconstrues the event as if she were the one who had been wronged or betrayed by her sister.
And what does Hans do next? He mirrors this, as he mirrors all things. He wrongs her. He betrays her.
Anna’s projection of an unexpected betrayal from her sister causes Hans to mirror that unexpected betrayal right back at her. Once again, Hans even echoes Anna’s own words to him: “You’re no match for Elsa.” “No, you’re no match for Elsa.” He takes off his gloves when he does this, just as Elsa wore no gloves during the encounter at the ice palace, when Anna believes that Elsa betrayed her and hurt her.
In the next scene, with the ad-hoc Arendelle council, Hans seems grave but resolute, just as they do, seemingly prepared to do what’s necessary to save Arendelle — even something desperate, such as executing the queen. Earlier, they had projected onto him the image of a hero (“You are all Arendelle has left”), just as Anna had yearned to meet “the one” right at the beginning of the film, and Hans reflects their hero projection right back at the council members, just as he initially reflected Anna’s projection of a perfect prince, or later, her projection of a betrayal and injury by someone whom she thought loved her.
On the fjord, Hans once again mirrors Elsa. Observe how wide-eyed and nearly frantic he appears when he shouts at her, just as wide-eyed as Elsa herself appears.
And what identity does he take on in this moment? That of an executioner — which is exactly what Elsa believes that she has become, once she is told that Anna died because of her magic. Elsa believes that she has become lethal, that she is death personified, and Hans, in turn, mirrors that identity, becoming death himself, sword in hand, like the scythe of the grim reaper.
Only at the very end of the film, when he is locked in a cell, is Hans seen alone, for the very first time. At that moment, there is no one to mirror, and he sinks to the ground like a mechanism without a battery, because, like an empath who only exists in relation to someone else, he has no independent existence – or at least, none to which the audience is privy, in this film.
- - - -
No wonder Hans has attracted so many diverse interpretations, all seemingly incompatible with one another. There is no single Hans, no “true” Hans, not even in the library scene. In every moment in which he exists in Frozen, he functions as a mirror to other characters, embodying their emotions or their projections.
It is not that he is not sincere. Quite the opposite. He is entirely as sincere in every moment as are the people he reflects. He is just as genuinely committed to love in one moment as he is genuinely committed to kindness in another and to execution in another. As a fully empathic personality, he becomes whoever he is with.
"Who is this Hans?" Olaf asks. The answer is: not a person, not a character, but a mirror, perhaps even supernatural — a mirror who reflects everyone around him, their loves and fears, their vices and virtues, their lives and, very nearly, their deaths.
(My own extended review of Frozen appears [here].)
I know this is already long enough, but I wanted to point something else out:
in the original story, the main focal point, besides the queen, and love, etc, is a mirror. The mirror that tainted the Queen, the mirror that shattered when an attempt to take it to heaven was made, and a mirror’s shards who have to be gathered to put it back together so it can regain full-power again.
In the movie about it (not Frozen, but Snow Queen), they explain that the mirror showed each sister of the seasons (fall, winter, summer, spring) what they most desired - could grant to them if they so desired. It was for all 4 but the Ice Queen, having been corrupted by the image it showed her, stole it (then it follows the shattering, being put back together, etc).
My point is, the whole time I was watching Frozen I was thinking “where’s the mirror? If you’re going to use this story, you need to have the mirror, it’s vital." I was disappointed, when leaving the theater (despite loving the movie to bits) that the mirror hadn’t been mentioned, or seen. But the thing is…they did put it in there.
I just couldn’t see it, because the mirror was disguised as a person.
Greatest mindfuck I’ve ever read.
I’m sorry, that’s crazy…Walls opening…
Witnesses say they asked Britney why she shaved her head and her response was, “I’m tired of plugging things into it. I’m tired of people touching me.”
i can never not reblog this
T-Pain: “That was the most beautiful thing in the world. Do you know why she was shaving her head? Because it was so important to other people. She is like, “Listen. Don’t touch my hair anymore. Stop touching my hair.” People were like, “We’ve got to make your hair before you go outside. You can’t leave.” She went … “Now I don’t have hair. What you going to do?”
The older I get the more her breakdown seems less ‘unbalanced’ and more ‘completely understandable’
i love seeing girls close ranks when their fella is cheating, instead of defending him and attacking the other girls. like seriously. it warms my cold, cold heart so much.
i need the rest of this story, where did you put the body
I’ve always wanted to do this. I hope they all went out for ice cream later too.
i want an update on this
FORCED TO FLEE WITH HIS NAN
A cheating boyfriend got his comeuppance when he touched down in the UK following a holiday – and walked straight into his three girlfriends.
Charlie Fisher, 20, had barely set foot on English soil at Luton Airport when he heard someone shouting ‘liar, liar’ – and saw the three girls he had been seeing being each other’s backs marching towards him.
Becky Connery, 17, said she planned the (not so) welcome party after finding out her love rat boyfriend had been texting a girl behind her back.
‘He came out and froze,’ she told The Sun.
The girls found each other through text and Facebook and hatched the plan (Picture: Lizzie Leeland-Cunningham)
‘We started calling him a cheat and a liar really loudly. He didn’t have anything to say.’
After seeing the message, Becky got in touch with the 20-year-old girl – who does not want to be identified – and together, the pair found a third girl through Facebook, Lizzie Leeland-Cunningham.
‘I just wanted to see his face when all three of us were in the same place,’ Lizzie, 19, told The Sun.
Becky later said that after confronting her cheating ex, he ‘ran to his nana’.
Charlie, from Hertfordshire, would invent friends and lie about family commitments in order to juggle the three girls, according to reports.
THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I HAVE EVER READ FUCK YEAH GIRLS
Qian Hongyan was just four when she lost both her legs. A speeding trucker left her for dead as she crossed the main road in her village of Zhuangshang in southern China.
For nearly two years Qian was immobile as she didn’t even have enough of her body left to sit up in a wheelchair. Doctors said her only hope of being able to move by herself again would be extensive surgery to allow her to be fitted with prosthetic limbs.Her parents couldn’t afford this treatment.
Qian’s granddad Yuan came up with a simple but effective treatment to get her moving again. He took a basketball the village boys had discarded and cut a hole just big enough for tiny Qian to fit into, padded the inside with stiff floor mats from his car, then propped her up inside. All of a sudden Qian was able to stabilize herself and was able to by move herself by rolling the ball in any direction she wanted. She supported herself using wooden handles.
From that day on Qian would not be stopped by any obstacle. She went back to school, started to play with her friends again, and started to get back the life of any girl her age. She began professional swimming training in 2007 and defied the odds of her double amputation to become one of the first members of the Yunnan Youth Swimming Club.
She won three gold medals in last year’s Yunnan Para Games and took a gold and two silver medals at the National Swimming Championship for the Disabled (Under 18) in 2009 before continuing impressively at this year’s Para Games.
I should have added this in the original post but after attention in the Chinese press, Qian traveled to Beijing to receive free artificial limbs at the China Rehabilitation Research Center, a center that has been providing help to the disabled in China for over 20 years. At 18 years old she is ready for her full adult prosthetics.
The ever elusive question: How do I get better ‘quicker’? Well.. it involves a lot of sketchbooks, sketches, trial and error, studies and hard work - and that doesn’t come quickly. 30+ Sketchbooks, 3000+ pieces of paper, 10,000+ sketches
“I believe talent is just a pursued interest.” - Bob Ross
” Please take care of yourself! ”